The Few Truths I Know about Writing

I’ve been writing and querying for about ten years, and that time I’ve learned a few things about being a writer.

1. This is the MOST subjective business out there. When agents pass on a manuscript it is truly based on the opinion of one. It doesn’t mean it sucks, but rather they didn’t like it.
2. Querying is a rollercoaster of emotion. I have had moments of elation from requests from agents. These moments created anxiety and excitement, but came crashing down when the rejection came in. It’s devastating when all of your hopes and dreams crumble in a second, but then you pick yourself up and try again.
3. Fear of saying the wrong thing on social media is so real. I constantly worry if I say something less than positive it will bite me in the butt later on, but the truth is that reality isn’t always happy. Writing is a love hate relationship and it’s so important that we, writers, stick together and assure each other than we are not alone. These feelings are real and ok. We should not fear retaliation as long as we are not harming others.

This leads me to the topic that really started this blog post. Today, an agent was talking about whether or not relating with the character is a viable reason to reject a manuscript. I read through the posts, happy to see this being discussed in the open. It was refreshing that others were saying or thinking the same thing. Yet, at the same time, other agents used terms like code or meaning. People talked about not wanting to hurt feelings, but any rejection hurts. It’s a reality.

Then, ironically, one of my writing friends received a rejection that said “and though I love certain elements, others aren’t quite working for me…I welcome you to query me with more projects.” I received this same rejection last week, with the same wording. The use of love touched me when I received it. I found hope and wondered what I did well. The invitation to query again led me to believe the agent saw something special in my writing, but when I saw the exact same letter to another writer, I was crushed. It was all false hope. It was simply generic niceties that were meant to not hurt my feelings. But the truth is that now I feel like a girl who has been led on by the boy of my dreams. The same one I will never get.

As a querying writer I wish we could just receive the truth, no matter how bad. Tell me I suck at writing. Tell me you just didn’t like it. Tell me something other than a generic message that everyone else gets. As much as I understand there isn’t time enough in the world to personally respond to every query, I don’t know what the solution is. Some agents don’t respond at all, which is worse than a kind response. Honestly, I don’t know what is the best way to deal with queries, but I, personally, just want honesty and not to be led on.

Ok, so everything I just wrote may be taboo and I may have just shot myself in the foot, but I feel like I want/need to bring comfort to others. I don’t know if I’ll ever get published. I hope I do. What I do know is I’m not giving up. I will continue to write and query until the day I die. I will either be published or not, and both are on. I write for me. I write for my children. I write for my family. That’s all I can do.

Please comment, like, follow. I’d love your thoughts as well.